I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize