SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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