I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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