do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
