Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
