PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
