I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
