I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
