is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
