Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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