It was confusing and full of hummus
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize