Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
