And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
even my farts smell like vagina
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
