I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Your dad touched me again.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
