I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
