Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
