I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
