i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
