Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He did a backflip because drugs
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize