i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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