Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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