That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
