i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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