what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
