I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize