Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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