There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
