I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
