just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
