the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
they're like a gay fantastic four
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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