I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
