Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
