Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
