Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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