thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
