Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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