Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize