Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
