this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
even my farts smell like vagina
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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