My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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