i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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