That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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