Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
why is half of my head shaved?
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