dude i'm inner monologue high
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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