i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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