I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
