Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
