last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
