Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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