saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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