you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!