Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
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Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
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IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.