I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
