I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
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i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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