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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't watch pbs sober anymore

  Fav 2 1154 727

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's

  Fav 38 3572 922

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (714): View more from California

  Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...

  (226): View more from Ontario

  did I at least say anything...

  (519): View more from Ontario

  you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I felt guilty, it was so good!

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup

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• (510): View more from California

  JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.

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• (915): View more from Texas

  Just kidding.  Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.

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