Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
