it was like eating out sand paper
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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