Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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