thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
