Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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