Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize