bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
