He is such a slut. More and more my type.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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