im drinking this country out of the recession.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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