she looked like the before picture.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
