well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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